Consultant Top 10 Lists

Top Ten Things a Consultant Shouldn't Tell a Client

1. That was my first guess as well, but then I really thought about it.
2. You should see the hotel I'm staying at.
3. Hey, I just realized that I was in junior high when you started working here.
4. I like this office space. I'll have them put me in here when you're gone.
5. My rental car looks nicer than that junker you're driving.
6. Sure it'll work; I learned it in business school.
7. So what do you need me to tell you?
8. Of course it's right; the spreadsheet says so.
9. I could just tell you the answer, but we're committed to a three month project.
10. What are you, stupid?

Top Ten Things You'll Never Hear from a Consultant

1. You're right; we're billing way too much for this.
2. Bet you I can go a week without saying "synergy" or "value-added".
3. How about paying us based on the success of the project?
4. This whole strategy is based on a Harvard business case I read.
5. Actually, the only difference is that we charge more than they do.
6. I don't know enough to speak intelligently about that.
7. Implementation? I only care about writing long reports.
8. I can't take the credit. It was Ed in your marketing department.
9. The problem is, you have too much work for too few people.
10. Everything looks okay to me.
    

Top Ten Things You Shouldn't Say at a Consulting Interview

1. I'm a t-shirt and jeans kind of person.
2. Do you pay overtime?
3. I hate flying.
4. I'm useless without ten hours of sleep a night.
5. There are lies, damn lies, and statistics.
6. Do you cover rental cars for collision?
7. Stanford taught me that working in teams is great for slackers.
8. I think three letter acronyms are for people too stupid to remember whole phrases.
9. Two words: family first.
10. Call it what you want, it still means firing people.
    

Top Ten Ways To Know You're Dating/Married To A Consultant

1. Referred to the first month of your relationship as a "diagnostic period".
2. Talks to the waiter about process flow when dinner arrives late.
3. Takes a half day at the office because, "Sunday is your day."
4. Congratulates your parents for successful value creation.
5. Tries to call room service from the bedroom.
6. Ends any argument by saying, "let's talk about this off-line."
7. Celebrates anniversary by conducting a performance review.
8. Can't be trusted with the car-too accustomed to beating up rentals.
9. Valentine's Day card has bullet points.
10. Refers to lovemaking as a "win-win".

Top Ten Ways to Know You've Got the Consulting Bug

1. Can't stop using words that don't exist.
2. Worried that he who dies with the most frequent-flyer miles wins.
3. Use so much jargon in conversation, friends think you're speaking a foreign language.
4. Constant urge to give advice on subjects you know nothing about.
5. Always-hyphenating-words-that-don't-need-to-be-hyphenated.
6. Keep seeing bullet points everywhere.
7. Can fit the thematic undercurrents of "War and Peace" into a two-by-two matrix.
8. Tired of having a social life beyond work.
9. A two-page story in Business Week is all it takes to make you an expert.
10. Firmly believe that an objective viewpoint means more than any real work experience.

Gliding thoughts!

Ever wished that there was a cook-book for life? There could be a sweet tiramisu when you were in pain. Everything would have been ok by doing by the book. The world’s best chefs are some people who have made their own recipes and have become known for them. These were the recipes which were the first and became the last word. Many things they made, they didn’t have the slightest clue what it would be. Similar is life. You make your own recipes. Believe in them and when you strike gold; the world will know you by these very great actions. Believe in the recipe of life that you want to achieve. No problem if you fail. At least you tried. What’s wrong in failing anyways? Everyone does. But one day you will be able to show the world how your tiramisu tastes, the recipe for your life. Good or bad you should not care much.

Amen!

Tomorrow, being the death anniversary of St Valentine, lets buy pink gifts from pink gift stores; watch 2 movies so that the words pyaar or dil are cumulatively in the title about 6 times, and have an expensive but mushily meaningful dinner tonight, so that St Valentine's soul rests in peace.

What an irony....ignorant consumers and senseless consumerism has made this day into a Rs 1200 cr market in India.

God save the pups stuck in the mush muddy stupid love dipped day

EvolOve

A wax candle made to sublimity,
Who arcs in heat, but tries to remain firm,
Lends light bearing the hot vapor.
A beautiful vista with god’s finest milieu,
Breezy, cool, soothing embracing everywhere,
Selfless to all, patience intertwined.

She holds and speaks to you,
And you feel someone like never before.
I am blessed and surely am,
For envy of others tells me again that.

No equations for answers, No give and take,
No more certain values just because the world likes to fake.
Because truth and happiness are internal,
Need not plan life to achieve bliss .
World is a fight, I tell her,
But life is not a battle, she says,
Karma makes one who he/she is,
Values between us sometimes hardly meet.

I see I learn things everyday,
I find myself daily in the introspection that envelopes,
From the ocean that is mélange of the gods best one can offer,
I swim deeper each day to cut illusion all over.
No walls for far and wide,
She is a philosopher’s stone, a place I love to hide,
Child within, so wet,
Excess water will make her drain.

Life is a web ,you fall and learn,
Staying firm is the rule of the game.
There is a long path I need to tread,
Roadblocks I need to pass.
But cannot do all this without my critic, best friend
My source of strength, a candle lighting my way,
Sky is the limit, I am sure,
I need to be with her, that’s my life’s cure.

Home Truths-Personal experience

Economic Times Coverage -5th August

http://economictimes.indiatimes.com/ET_Features/The_Sunday_ET/Property/Home_truths/articleshow/msid-2256225,curpg-1.cms


After retirement, Sushil Khanna wanted to buy a house of his own. He and his wife, Veena Khanna, decided to book an Oriental Villa Home in Sushant Lok-III in Gurgaon and paid a sum of Rs 15 lakh from 1996 to 1998. The Khannas were promised possession of the house in 1999.

But they were disappointed when construction of the ground floor did not start even in 1999. In order to fight this delay, Mrs. Khanna filed a case in September 1999 against Ansal Properties & Industries and Ansal Buildwell in the State Commission. Eight years later in 2007, the National Consumer Court has ordered Ansal’s to either pay compensation or to hand over possession of the flat.

This is just one example. Each day, a number of cases are filed in the consumer court against erring real estate developers. The initial promises made are not duly delivered and it is the consumers who stand at a loss. But there are few things that need to be kept in mind. “

A prospective buyer should check into the developer’s credibility, past projects and performance and delivery record. He should also ensure that the project is funded by a known bank and has all the correct approvals. A buyer is entitled to ask for a copy of the project’s drawings, duly stamped by the municipal authorities. A project that has not met certain minimum standards of completion will not be issued a Completion Certificate by the local authorities,” says Anuj Puri, chairman and country head, Jones Lang LaSalle (JLL) Meghraj.

Justice J D Kapoor, president, State Consumer Dispute Redressal Commission, agrees that real estate-related disputes are a regular phenomenon at the forum. “Cases abound where constructions have been faulty, excessively delayed or buyers have not been given possession of the said property. In such a situation, most of the times the end-user heads to the consumer court for redressal,” reveals Kapoor.

But there are consumers who also come out with some innovative strategies. In a recent video posted on a video-sharing website, a disgruntled consumer expressed his angst at real estate major Unitech’s UniWorld City in Gurgaon. The township project, which went by the tagline

‘The best in the world for you,’ had boasted of world-class luxury apartments and modern amenities for the buyers. However, the video showed a picture that stands in complete contrast to the promises made by the developer. Cracked and shabbily-finished walls, an unsafe playground area for children, an empty swimming pool and jacuzzi are all reflective of shoddy construction. On his part, Sanjay Chandra, MD, Unitech, says that the complaints have been taken care of. “All the issues have been taken care of now by our team. There may have been some faults in the project but not entirely. The agitation levels of some individuals are higher than that of others and hence they express it in this manner.”

However, developers argue that it is unfair to make a big deal out of minor faults in construction. “We normally bend backwards to keep our consumers happy. We also have a consumer grievance cell wherein the complaints are heard and corrective steps are taken if we see some fairness in them,” says Kunal Bannerji, president, marketing of Ansal API, which also has default cases related to unauthorised land practices pending in the consumer court.

In Bangalore, one of the cases filed with the Consumer Forum includes Bangalore-based BEML Welfare Association. Attracted by the housing scheme floated by the BEML Welfare Association, three buyers decided to purchase property in a layout developed by BEML Welfare Association called ‘BEML Bheemarao Nagar.’ The site cost of Rs 67,200 was paid by the buyers, but none of them were allotted sites in 1999. They then approached the Consumer Redressal Forum. The Consumer Forum after its srutinisations directed BEML in June 2007 to refund the complainants’ money along with an interest.

Clearly, more vigil and awareness about small details are needed from buyers to nip the problems in the bud. Avinash Prabhu, MD of the Bangalore-based Skyline Construction & Housing feels that “the buyer should ensure that the title of the property is okay and the builder has obtained necessary approvals. Also, the quality of materials being used for the construction should be as promised. If the consumer is unhappy, we attend to the complaints and sort out these areas even after the defect liability period is completed so that the customer is satisfied with the end product.” While cities such as Delhi, Mumbai and Bangalore even see known names in property disputes, Kolkata has a different tale to tell. Here it is mostly the local, small real estate developers which are seen not living up to their promises made while selling apartments in buildings or complexes. Says Pradip Kumar Chopra, director, P S Group, “Consumers can’t ask for quality stuff while purchasing vegetables from an unorganized market at a discounted price. Vegetables and fruits bought from Spencer’s or even Food Bazaar is quality at a price which is marginally higher than the unorganised market. The same logic holds true for property transactions in the real estate sector as well.” The bottomline thus is to keep your ears to the ground. Verifying the developer’s track record and getting the necessary paperwork in place will always keep you in good stead even if things end up going wrong

Made In China

As the world wakes up to the rising strengths of the Chinese and Indian economies, a pressing need has arisen to further bolster the relationships among the youth of the two countries and promote a better understanding of the two cultures and societies

To foster stronger ties among the youth of the two countries and promote a better understanding of the two cultures and societies, a mutual decision was taken by the Chinese President and Indian Prime Minister to send 500 students as part of the exchange program over the next five years. The first 100-member delegation from India who visited China comprised students in the age group of 13-35 and from fields as varied as sports, Chinese language students, social workers, Panchayati Raj workers, students of performing arts, PhD students, engineers from IIT's and youth with special abilities.

Since the time I have visited the beautiful country of China many people have asked me about my trip, I thought I would share some thoughts on the same. As a part of the India-China youth conference 2006, it was indeed a pleasure and honor to be in the august company of some of the countries very best. Well, I arrived back home on September 17^th from China. What an experience it was!

The entire 100 member delegation was a mix of young students, artists and grass root level leaders. From our end it was truly a right mix of age, occupation and interests. Truly an energetic combination to take on the oriental ways. On the Chinese side the stage was set with 4 cities Shanghai, Beijing, Guantzauo and Xian on the anvil. The 10 days were planned in way which would require days of planning and conceptulisation. Be it the Indian or the Chinese governement, the motivation towards a real friendships between the Dragon and the Elephant were true and benign.

As each day folded it had enstore new experiences, exposure towards diversity and objects which were just discussed or observed on paper. The entire vista of a country which is truly big in size, potential and complexities became evident as each day brought more pieces to complete a memorable jigsaw.

As I look back I have fond memories of the trip, the officials, the participants and many more things which are now engrained as a part of an indelible experience .I wish all the future delegations that they also get an opportunity to experience which in one word I can describe as 'Memorable'. I also hope that the two big neighboring giants achieve what they had in mind when the entire novel concept of the Indo-China Youth conference was conceived. I also hope that I get a chance in the future to experience the splendor of a country which the world knows as CHINA

False promises@Ansals

Indian Express News coverage lambasting big bully ANSALS for high handedness and gross injustice meted out to my parents & family

Delay in Handing Over Possession of Flat

11 years on, builders to pay up Rs 37.5 lakhs

New Delhi, July 26: THE National Consumer Commission has directed Ansal Properties and Ansal Buildwell to pay nearly Rs 40 lakhs as compensation to a buyer who did not get her apartment despite paying for it 11 years ago.

In a recent judgment, the Commission directed the builders to pay Rs 7.5 lakhs as compensation for the delay in handing over possession, and Rs 30 lakhs as refund, including simple interest. This makes it one of the country’s single biggest private property compensation cases.

The buyers, however, now plan to file a criminal case against the real estate giants for planning to sell off the property.

On July 9, 1996, Veena Khanna, wife of Dr Sushil Khanna, formerly employed with Ranbaxy, signed an agreement with the builders for an apartment at Oriental Homes in Sushant Lok III, Gurgaon. The total cost entailed Rs 23.33 lakhs.

According to Khanna’s complaint, she paid Rs 15.12 lakhs on different dates till January 16, 1998. There was, however, “no progress in construction” of the 2,000-sq ft, four-bedroom apartment. Ergo, she stopped payment.

The builders had informed Khanna in January 1998 that they would give possession by June 1, 1999. But the flat was neither built nor delivered. The family then sought refund of the deposited amount with compound interest at 18 per cent per annum.

With Ansals refusing to pay, the buyers approached the State Consumer Commission in September 2000.

‘Preferential judgment’ by state commission?

On December 6, 2005, the State Commission directed Ansal Properties and Ansal Buildwell to refund Rs 15.12 lakhs paid by Khanna, with 13 per cent interest for each year since the payments. At the same time, the Commission declared that if the builders “choose to hand over possession of the flat; the order of refund will not come into operation”.

The Khannas then approached the National Commission, seeking adequate compensation for the intervening years, or at least possession of the apartment. “It appears,” Commission president Justice M B Shah observed, “the order passed by the State Commission gave preferable alternative to the opposite parties, and the builder took undue advantage of it.

The National Commission also remarked that the State Commission should have directed the builders to pay an adequate compensation, as well as possession of the same flat or one of similar size.

The panel also ruled that paying interest is “not any compensation because the buyer had taken a loan and was paying it back to the bank”.

Compensation was inadequate: Khannas

The Khannas regard the compensation package inadequate. “Simple interest calculated by the State Commission had been 13 per cent per annum. This does not equal the rise in property rates,” Dr Sushil Khanna said. “That is why we went to the National Commission. Factoring in inflation, the total amount due is actually quite higher.”

Veena Khanna said: “Any delay in possession is disastrous for middle-class salaried buyers. At 1994-95 prices, the booking value for the 195-sq yard plot was Rs 23 lakhs, with an architectural plan for a four-bedroom, 2,000 sq ft apartment. At current value, the amount directed to be paid to us is not even sufficient to buy a one-bedroom accommodation.” The Khannas are also aggrieved that the builders are now planning to sell off the apartment. They now plan to file an FIR with the Connaught Place police, and also approach the Supreme Court.

‘Demand unjustified’

“We have submitted Rs 30 lakhs as directed by the court earlier. The company has not yet decided on the recent compensation order. We also cannot comment on giving possession to the buyers. We believe their demand for both compensation and the flat is unjustified,” said Ansals’ spokesperson Ankit Vishnoi.